Such a headache!

I woke up late again today and with a pounding headache.  Caffeine withdrawl?  Pretty sure it is.  I need to grab some headache medicine or something soon here.  No pop sucks.  Time for some nice water-- with flavoring.  I ate 1/2 the pot of soup yesterday- I think I'll need to make more tonight- I really thought it was going to last me a whole week-- well I guess when you eat almost nothing else it goes fast.

Here's what I ate on Weds:

• numerous bowls of soup 
• 1/2 apple
• lots of water (flavored of course)
• a tiny smoothie made of strawberries, bananas, high protein yogurt and skim milk  (that was the only fruit thing I had in the house so since it had bananas in it, I drank very little of it- just a few sips)

I bought some Ensure and Viactiv chews for later - they were on sale and coupons so I stocked up a little on them- 

Prizes!!

I just came up with an idea!  Prizes for each weight loss goal (in addition to the bracelets).  I'm having Paul help me come up with the prize list though- I'm not really thinking of the 'whats' just yet. 

Ideas: (all in addition to a yet to be determined style of bracelet)
10 lbs - new workout pants
20 lbs - new workout shirt
30 lbs - super slimming girdle
40 lbs - ???
50 lbs - new tennis shoes (not cheap ones)
60 lbs - ??
70 lbs - ??
80 lbs - ??
90 lbs - ??
100 lbs - shopping spree at Victoria's Secret
110 lbs - ??
120 lbs - ??
130 lbs - new iPod

I don't know what they will be exactly yet- but stuff to look forward to at each level and have them get better as the progress gets better.

I also was looking up Biggest Loser apparel- they have some nice slimming items that I want.  Kinda pricey to get all of them (hundreds of dollars) so I'll shop a bit before I drop any cash on anything. 
Ooh- excited!  Going to eat some soup-- yum yum

Making the gross soup... I mean delicious soup!

The soup is on the stove now simmering.  I just took my Synthroid medicine so I can't eat for about an hour or so- which should be about the time the soup is done.  I make it different than Paul does.  I let the veggies sit in the hot pan for a while first to kinda get them cooking a bit- I don't think he does that- I think he boils them all - I like my cabbage as wilty as possible so I can barely notice its there.

Target has a sale on MiO drink mix- $3.50 each- WYB 2 you get a free 24 pack of water.  I have 2 $1 off coupons also - so $5 for for 2 drink mixes plus a case of water is a great deal.  The drink mixes are $4 each at Giant Eagle- so I went yesterday and they were sold out- but they were hoping to get more today on the truck-- so hopefully I can run up there today and stock up on some.  That would be nice.  I need to drink 100% water and nothing else now.  That's going to be the biggest change I have to make.  I had my 'last few pops' last night at WL.  Man, I did so bad yesterday.  I took a handful of Senekot to try to reverse some of that.    

I have a plan- to have the most fun ever this week with shopping, watching funny movies, etc- so that it distracts me from the horrors of the disgusting diet.  I wonder if I could throw the soup in the blender and drink it?  Hmm... I might have to try that later if I get super sick of it.

Oh yeah, I made my soup a little different than the directions below...
1 bunch of organic green onions, chopped
1 bag of coleslaw mix
1 large green pepper
1 bottle of V8 Juice
1 packet of Onion and Mushroom Lipton soup mix
2 TBS of Beef Boullion
1 bottle worth of water (I filled the V8 bottle to measure)
a dash of onion salt, garlic powder

I hate celery with a passion so that's not included in this.  It might be in the V8 juice, but at least I can't taste it.

I sprayed the pot with cooking spray.  Threw in the onions, coleslaw mix, green peppers and let it cook on high heat for a few minutes.  When the cabbage was reduced to about 1/2 then I added in the juice and the rest of it.  I stirred, tasted and decided it needed the boullion.  It may even need a little more in the end.  I want the soup to reduce a little before I eat it.  As long as Paul stays away from it, it should last me the whole week

***Update later***
The soup is actually pretty good!  It needs to be served very hot and I let it simmer for so long that it condensed a bit- so its good-- yay.  I've been doing really well today.  Now to find a working scale and see progress....

Ughh! I did terrible today!

I got a call from my mom that she needed me to pick her up for her appt at 8AM... so I got breakfast at McDonald's-- then I had Panera for lunch and then steak and toast for dinner.  I did so bad.  Today was supposed to be day one of the cabbage soup diet- but now that will be tomorrow instead. 

I almost bought a new scale yesterday--- then I didn't-- today I almost bought batteries for my digital scale and my card was declined (?) so I didn't.  Very odd how nothing was working out for me to buy new scale items.  Oh well.  Tomorrow is the big yucky diet day.

My sister just told us they were moving to NC but now it looks like they won't be.  I'm kinda glad about it- I think they are pretty upset though.  NC is a long drive away for me to see my nephews.

Last night Paul took 'before' pics of me.  I did a front left right and back shot.  I tried not to actually look at the pictures.  I still don't know if I'll ever post them- even though no one really knows about my blog.  You just never know when someone may stumble across something online. 

I told my mom my starting weight.   I can't believe I told her- although it is kinda easy to figure out from some of the clues on this blog.   When I'm far removed from this weight it should be easier to say the number- but for now it still seems shameful to say something so so big.  I know there's worse.  300, 400, 500 etc... I'm no where near those numbers- but still-- 2 anything is just yucky.

Tomorrow: fruit and soup... mmm-mmm.  Can't wait!

Details on cabbage soup diet

Recipe

• 6 large green onions
• 2 green peppers
• 2 cans of tomatoes (diced or whole)
• 1 bunch celery
• 1/2 head cabbage
• 1 package dry onion soup mix
• 1 or 2 cubes bouillon/stock cubes either chicken or beef (optional)
• Salt, pepper, parsley, garlic powder, curry powder or soy sauce to taste (or any other seasoning you like).

Spray a large pot with cooking spray and sauté all vegetables except cabbage and tomatoes until tender. Add cabbage and about 12 cups (2.83 litres) of water. Toss in bouillon cubes, soup mix, and seasoning. Cook until soup reaches desired tenderness. Add tomatoes.
To keep the recipe interesting you can make a base soup and then add seasoning/herbs each day for different flavours.
Note: There are a number of variations to this recipe.

Diet

Beverages are limited to water, and unsweetened fruit juice on days when fruit is allowed. This is a typical outline of the diet:^[4]

• Day 1 - Cabbage soup plus as much fruit as you like, excluding bananas

• Day 2 - Cabbage soup plus vegetables including 1 baked potato with a little butter

• Day 3 - Cabbage soup plus fruit and vegetables excluding potatoes and bananas

• Day 4 - Cabbage soup plus up to eight bananas and as much skimmed milk as you like

• Day 5 - Cabbage soup plus up to 10 ounces of beef and up to six tomatoes

• Day 6 - Cabbage soup plus as much beef and vegetables (excluding potatoes) as you like

• Day 7 - Cabbage soup plus brown rice, vegetables (excluding potatoes) and unsweetened fruit juice

Cabbage soup diet (to cheat)

I'm 6 lbs away from my goal weight today (according to my inaccurate scale downstairs)- I started my period and am all bloaty- so I'll probably be ok- but just in case-- I'm going to do the cabbage soup diet for some extra insurance - I want to be a little under the weight they gave me.  I need to get a new scale still-- the 2 I have are ugh! Neither ever match the Dr.s office scales.  Mine are always much higher than there's are- which in some ways is good--

I need to take my 'before' pictures either tonight or soon.  I don't know if I'll post them now or not though... that's kinda scary- I might just wait until I start losing mega amounts of weight and show where I was.  We'll see.  This is all new to me and I make up the rules as I go a bit.

I missed work yesterday and will again today.  I missed a dose of my Celexa- which sends me into a tailspin when that happens.  I do get paid 100% for it though since its a 'medical condition' and FMLA pays for it.  This will be day 3 and 4 that I used up.  I still have a ton of time left- so I'm not worried about 'using it all up' or anything like that.

I ate some of the crappy soup and a few salads last night.  Paul loves that soup and he said he needs to drop 6 lbs.  (massive eye roll at him needing to lose anything).  My husband weighs the same as when I met him- maybe 10 lbs more of muscle- and 1/2 lb of fat-- if that.  He has a slight slight layer of fat on his stomach and NO WHERE else.  Great, now if he reads that he'll be doing sit ups for a week... I'd love for him to gain 10 more lbs - heck, 20!  When I'm down to my goal weight, I need to weigh less than him- at least 1 lb.  The booger will probably then go on a 'diet' to be a lb less than me then.  I'd love to get to the point where we have a little time together each week to work out- that would be nice.  Maybe when Evan goes to school we can in the morning before he goes to work or something-- that would be awesome.

I need to pick up more cabbage for my soup (blech!!) Paul made a batch with bacon and some other no-no stuff in his- so I have to make my own.  I'm starting to eat it tomorrow (Tuesday) and in great quantities- whatever the diet calls for.  That diet works- its just sticking to it-- blech again.  But its just 10 days- I can handle that.

Possible Bracelet design

I like these bracelets- they come in a set of 12-- which means I'd just need one more silver bracelet to make 13.  These cost $30. 

I resisted the Bacon and Cheese biscuit!

Woo hoo-- I didn't get the food that I was craving.  Yesterday though I kinda did bad.  I had ice cream.  I ate hardly anything all day- so calorie-wise I was probably in a good range- but sugars and carbs were way high.  I need to weigh myself tonight.  I have 2 weeks left until my big qualifying weigh in.  Time to REALLY get serious.  Depending on how tonights weigh in goes, I may start the cabbage soup diet.  I hate that diet- but I have to make my weight.  I also need to work out tonight for at least 1/2 hour.  I keep dreaming about kick boxing.  I think I wanna take a class (after I shed a few lbs first- can you imagine a fat chick trying to kick box?)

Oh, in other news- I told my sister.

It went way better than I thought it was going to go- I was dreading it and she was supportive and surprisingly excited for me. 

My mom has a colonoscopy on Tuesday so I have to drive her to Cleveland for that and then my sister has an operation to remove something on her shoulder in May.  I'm hoping my surgery will be when hers is- or about the same time- hers is the end of May which is the target that I am really hoping for.

Upcoming junk:
April 5th - Sleep Apnea test 8:30 pm
April 8th - morning class (my second time taking it- there's a lot of info, I may take it a third time)
April 15th- my scope surgery in Akron

It's getting closer and closer-- I can't wait!!

I want to eat that! ...but I shouldn't

I have 18 days to lose 4 or 5 lbs.  I really want McDonald's on the way home.  I've been eating perfectly - well 99% perfectly and I really want a bacon egg and cheese biscuit.  We'll see if I can resist or not.  Its not the end of the world if I do- but will I feel defeated if I eat it?  IDK... I'll try to resist it. 

Still no bracelets- I really want a bracelet!! I know they will be piling up (at least I hope so) as soon I have the surgery- but I want it nooooooow (my Varuka Salt immitation). 

The scale moved and I'm done with my 6 months!!

In order to get approved for surgery, there are MANY things you have to do---
1. attempt 6 months of Dr. assisted weight loss
2. Lose a certain amount of weight based on your BMI - I have to lose 10 lbs from my start date.
3. You need to have a sleep apnea test, all vitamins checked, EKG, Girl test, scope, psych evaluation -- and whatever else I may be forgetting.

Today was the last day of my 6 month Dr assisted Diet,  I'm not done seeing Dr. Malec, but for the weight loss portion I am done!  (yay!)
I ate very little yesterday and nothing today and took water pills-- I ended up being down 4 lbs from my last visit with her.  I still have 5 lbs to go to qualify for the surgeon.  I still have several weeks left for that weigh in so it should be ok.

I met with the fitness trainer the other day and they told me the opposite of what my surgeon told me for working out-- so yeah, I'm a little confused,  I'm taking the stairs more at work and other steps like that.  I need to increase my working out time though-- by alot and quick.

Today I called about money - I was FREAKING OUT about how I am going to pay for all of this-- insurance companies are a nightmare to deal with sometimes.  I'm trying to make sure everything is lined up before I start incurring a ton of expenses without any way to pay for them.  I think its all figured out though.

I called Kellie today to ask a million questions- first I asked her if she had time to talk- she said yes- so I starting asking and talking-- then she says 'I'm with a patient' OMG- I just asked you if you had time and you said yes.... grrr!  I felt like an idiot then.

I also snapped at Paul today- maybe its from the low blood sugar or something???  I didn't sleep so well last night- that may also be why I am cranky.  Evan was not feeling well (he pulled his neck from doing forward rolls down the stairs) and was very needy yesterday and last night.  He woke me up about 20 times.
I told a few more people via email about the surgery- but still not my sister yet.  I'm just still not ready to have a big long discussion about it. 
The worst is when People don't respond at all to letting them know about it.  (Bridget and Nina)  that is just weird- and I don't know how to react to that.

Last week my sister in law had a miscarriage- my mother in law told us- not them yet.  I feel bad for them- also there is all kinds of junk happening in Japan from a huge earthquake-- I'm sure she's super stressed right now--- I feel super stressed too- but mine is obviously different.

The scale isn't moving.

I went into work for a tiny little shift and weighed myself on the gym scale after work.... it didn't move down at all.  I was disappointed.  I stepped on and off the scale over and over seeing if it would change its mind... it didn't.  I'm still eating perfectly- well, I had a part of a bun the other day- but only part.  Way better than I normally eat.

I am completely utterly exhausted all the time- I could sleep non-stop.  I think it may be the caffeine withdrawl.  I hope that's all it is.  I was hoping the Synthroid would offset that - oh well.

I bought a bunch of bottled water and Crystal Light for home.  I'm going to be going thru the Crystal Light really fast.  (is it lite or light?) I also have lots of stomach aches I think from the shock of healthy food in my system. 

I'm mentally drained and physically exhausted.  I feel like a slug.  I have to quickly figure out how to reverse all of this. 

I'm still excited and anxious about the surgery- but right now its more anxious about losing these stupid 8 lbs.  I need to weigh in again at the work scale tomorrow because my scale at home moved a little- well, a lot actually... but I have no idea if its accurate or not.  I can't imagine I lost 7 lbs in a day... so I'm thinking I either need batteries for the digital scale upstairs or I need to invest in a new scale altogether.  I need to start obsessing about the scale like I did when I was thin.  I need to think thin thoughts again, not fatso thoughts.

I also told Evan last night about the surgery. He cried at first and said he didn't want me to have it- but when I explained more about it and how it would make me skinny - he seemed pretty happy about it and told his dad 'mom is getting a surgery so she won't be fat.'  BTW I hate the word 'fat'.  I despise it.  At least having it pertain to me.

The Team that I'm going to

Our Team

At Akron General, we understand that obesity is a disease, and you need a team you can trust if you're going to beat it. Led by experienced surgeon Walter Chlysta, MD, FACS, our team includes dietitians, psychologists, registered nurses, health and fitness professionals and surgical technicians, all focused on preparing you for surgery and helping you keep the weight off after surgery.

Ohio native, Walter J. Chlysta MD, FACS, is a Board Certified general surgeon with a practice that focuses on general surgery, endoscopy and other advanced laparoscopic procedures.

As one of the few Northeast Ohio surgeons who offer the laparoscopic gastric banding procedure and the laparoscopic gastric bypass, he has performed over 300 laparoscopic Roux-en-Y surgeries and over 50 gastric banding procedures during his 16 years of experience with laparoscopic surgery. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy has recently been added as another option for weight loss.

His background is as follows: Dr. Chlysta graduated with a Bachelor of Science from Kent State University with dual major in chemistry and pre-medicine; was inducted into Alpha Omega Alpha Medical Honorary Society; and graduated Cum Laude with medical degree from The Ohio State University College of Medicine. He completed his surgical internship and residency at Akron General Medical Center. Dr. Chlysta’s main clinical interest was advanced laparoscopic surgery.He went on to receive additional training in advanced laparoscopic surgery at The Yale Laparoscopic Center in New Haven, Connecticut.

In 2001, he was Board Certificated by The American Board of Surgery, and appointed Assistant Professor of Clinical Surgery at the Northeast Ohio Universities College of Medicine. In 2003, he was granted Fellow status in the American College of Surgeons (FACS), and then admitted as a full member of the American Society of Bariatric Surgery in 2004.

Dr. Chlysta was appointed Medical Director of the Bariatric Center at Akron General Medical Center in 2005.

      

June Adams, RN, Operating Room	Adriane Bennett, PhD, Psychology Services Services	Cathleen Burke, RN, CBN, Bariatric Center Program Coordinator	Michelle Dudek, MPT, Supervisor of Rehabilitation Services
Rose Fowler, Secretary for Dr. Chlysta	Chris Freas, PT, Physical Therapist	Alan Gilbertson, PhD, Chief of Psychology	Kellie Huey, Secretary for Bariatric Center
Kim Knopp, MS, RD, LD, CDE, Registered Dietitian	Kathy Kolton, RN, Manager Surgical Services	Renee Markovich, MD, FAAFP, Associate Program Director, Center for Family Medicine	Joshua McNatt, MD, Green Primary Care
Joyce Moore, Director of Nursing 52A	Marc Shultz, Surgical Assistant, Operating Room	Cindy Smith, Secretary for Psychology Services	Jodie Weckbacher, Surgical Technician

Kellie is awesome!  Without her, I wouldn't have chosen Akron General.  My Shrink is not pictured in here- she must be newer.  Kim is the Dietician I deal with.

Good write up on the Sleeve

taken from: http://www.akrongeneral.org/portal/page/portal/AGMC_PAGEGROUP/Clinical_services/BariatricCENTER/Laparoscopic%20Sleeve%20Gastrectomy

Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy

Vertical Gastrectomy or Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG), was first developed in 1993 and was further revised and then offered to morbidly obese patients in 2001 for weight loss. VSG historically had been performed only as the first stage of Bilio-Pancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch (BPD-DS) in patients who may be at high risk for complications from more extensive types of surgery. These patients’ high-risk levels are due to body weight or medical conditions. However, more recent information indicates that some patients who undergo a VSG can actually lose significant weight with VSG alone, and avoid a second procedure. It is not yet known how many patients who undergo VSG alone will need a second stage procedure.

 The Sleeve Gastrectomy is an operation that limits how much food you can eat by significantly reducing the size of your stomach (by 75% or more) but does not lead to decreased absorption of food. The left side of your stomach is surgically removed, resulting in a new stomach, which is roughly the size and shape of a banana and holds 2-3 oz. It is carried out laparoscopically with 5 or 6 very small incisions, and is therefore much less traumatic than open surgery, with a shorter healing time and less risk. Since this operation does not involve any "rerouting" of the intestines, it is a simpler operation than the Gastric Bypass, and you will suffer none of the side effects experienced by bypass patients because your digestion is unaltered.

The portion of your stomach that is removed is responsible for secreting Ghrelin, which is a hormone that is responsible for appetite and hunger. By removing this portion of your stomach, this possibly eliminates most Ghrelin hormone production and helps to reduce the sensation of hunger that people have. The removed section of the stomach is actually the portion that "stretches" the most. The long vertical tube shaped stomach that remains is the portion least likely to expand over time and it creates significant resistance to volumes of food. Not only is your appetite reduced, but also very small amounts of food will give you early and lasting feelings of fullness!

Currently Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery is a covered benefit for some insurance companies, but may be considered investigational by others.

Eating pretty well (healthy)

Since I started taking Synthroid (4 days ago), I've been tired - I thought it was supposed to reverse exhaustion issues- but I guess I need to give it time or whatever... but sleeping more means eating less because I wasn't awake to actually eat a whole lot.

I've been eating small portions of steak and today I'm munching on salad all day (no dressing).  So far so good.  I'm drinking one Diet pop today but will refill the cup with water for the rest of the day while I'm at work.  I drink lots of water at work- not so much at home though.  I need to figure out how to change that at home somehow. 

Sundays I work til 3AM- which is really hard to work out after work when its so late.  I did sign up for some OT for Weds though so I can work out after I work a whopping 2 hours that night.  I'd like to try to come out to work 1 or 2 nights a week and work just a tiny little shift and then work out afterwards.  I think that will help with my work out goals.  

I do want to get on the work scale downstairs tonight to see if I've lost anything though.  I haven't been weighing myself at all lately.  I know that's probably wrong- but the home scales NEVER match the Dr scales so I almost think why bother.  ? 

Ok- still kinda pumped about my progress... I have to shop for all kinds of good foods though- my house doesn't have much of it.

Finally things are starting to go forward

I haven't blogged in a while because really there wasn't much to blog about.  There finally is stuff to talk about again and I have a renewed sense of excitement.

Now, where to start?

I technically am on my last month of the Dr. Assisted diet with the weigh ins.  Which I really didn't take too seriously to be honest.  I've lost 2 lbs according to the Surgeons scales- which I have tons of excuses why it was only 2 down-- I'll skip that for now.

Bottom line:  I need to lose 8 lbs (to complete my 10 criteria) in the next 4 weeks.  If I do that then he will schedule a surgery date for me.
I'm done with seeing the shrink- it was a complete waste of my time. 
I have a class and a sleep apnea test on April 8th.  I got the day already approved off at work.
I have an operation on April 15th.  Its really just a scope to look inside me and make sure everything is ok for surgery- but they knock you out for it and give you pain medication for afterwards- I guess I can't drive for 24 hours after. 

 I found out that I have a low thyroid (5.6 or something) so I just started taking Synthroid.  I posted on facebook that I'm taking it and a ton of other people are on that too.  They all say it helps.  I hope that will fix my exhaustion issues.  I increased my vitamin D a little- I'm at 29.5 which is still bad (it should be between 40-100).  I would love to have my D at 50 before surgery. 

I could actually have this surgery within the next 3 months.  That is quite exciting to me.

I was going to have a person to go thru this with at work, but she backed out of it and decided to not have the surgery.  Its totally her decision, but it would've been nice to go thru this with someone.

I'm very glad that the thyroid issue was discovered.  It makes me feel validated a little to have a reason for being so tired all the time.  I've only been on it for 2 days - so I see no difference.

Telling people about the surgery ---
I told my mom from the get-go.  She's known forever.  I told a few friends on facebook and other close friends that I trust and my managers too and a few people I sit near (they're going to be hearing me talk to Drs and stuff so I wanted to just tell them so they weren't guessing what I was doing)
I told one of my sisters and a sister in law.  They both had tons of concerns and way too many questions- so I'm really backing off of telling people for a while.  It was really draining for me to go into depth on the procedures and how I came to the decision and all that stuff.  So I haven't told my other sister yet.  Its nothing against her, its just that I really can't handle going thru all of the explanation again right now.  I will eventually tell her- but I'm just not ready to.  I still haven't decided what I'll tell people as they see me shrinking.  I'll be dieting and working out all the time- so diet and exercise is the truth... I don't really want to say 'I had the surgery' because I feel like people will then downplay my efforts to lose weight and get into shape again.  I want all the credit. LOL

Paul is starting to come around and be supportive.  He wasn't unsupportive (sure, that's a word) before, but he's starting to take an interest in things - at least a little.  I'm happy with the amount of interest he's taking. Too much and I'd get angry- none and I'd get angry too.  He knows me pretty well.  :)

 I joined the gym at work a month or so ago.  I actually really go- once a week.  I need to start going more.  Eventually I have to go 5 times a week 30-60 minutes a day.  I'll get there.

I ran into 'I had cancer' (I call her that because EVERY time you talk to her she mentions that she had cancer at least 100 times) - well she just had her surgery 2 weeks ago and she is down 14 lbs already.  She had the sleeve too and she weighs close to what I do I'd guess.  So that was super encouraging to see that its working so well for her already.  And, yes, she did mention that she had cancer when I talked to her.