I went into work for a tiny little shift and weighed myself on the gym scale after work.... it didn't move down at all. I was disappointed. I stepped on and off the scale over and over seeing if it would change its mind... it didn't. I'm still eating perfectly- well, I had a part of a bun the other day- but only part. Way better than I normally eat.
I am completely utterly exhausted all the time- I could sleep non-stop. I think it may be the caffeine withdrawl. I hope that's all it is. I was hoping the Synthroid would offset that - oh well.
I bought a bunch of bottled water and Crystal Light for home. I'm going to be going thru the Crystal Light really fast. (is it lite or light?) I also have lots of stomach aches I think from the shock of healthy food in my system.
I'm mentally drained and physically exhausted. I feel like a slug. I have to quickly figure out how to reverse all of this.
I'm still excited and anxious about the surgery- but right now its more anxious about losing these stupid 8 lbs. I need to weigh in again at the work scale tomorrow because my scale at home moved a little- well, a lot actually... but I have no idea if its accurate or not. I can't imagine I lost 7 lbs in a day... so I'm thinking I either need batteries for the digital scale upstairs or I need to invest in a new scale altogether. I need to start obsessing about the scale like I did when I was thin. I need to think thin thoughts again, not fatso thoughts.
I also told Evan last night about the surgery. He cried at first and said he didn't want me to have it- but when I explained more about it and how it would make me skinny - he seemed pretty happy about it and told his dad 'mom is getting a surgery so she won't be fat.' BTW I hate the word 'fat'. I despise it. At least having it pertain to me.
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